Funny Best Man Speech Jokes

Funny Best Man Speech One Liners

“Well, so many of you know I just flew in from Michigan…….. boy, are my arms tired”

“Well I got the phone call from (groom’s name) and he tells me he’s getting married, and I thought he was crazy.  But now that we’re here and we’ve gone through with it, I’m convinced he is.”

“After this beautiful day has moved onto the next, the suffering begins.”

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years, then we met.”

Best Man Speech Jokes to Bride

“(Bride’s name), since the moment we met you, we knew you were special, and not ‘little bus special’, but incredible person special.”

“But I can’t imagine a better pair than (groom’s name) and (bride’s name), she is loving, driven, and passionate.  And deserves the best man she can get.  So why aren’t you marrying me?”

“You’re smart, you’re sincere, you’re a hard-worker, you’re… you’re um… (groom’s name) what does that say? What did you put down here for me to write to her?”

Best Man Speech Jokes about Groom

“I’m sure you know at this point that (groom’s name) is a great-kisser.  I’m sorry to say though that it exactly comes from years of experience.  I saw him growing up, he would practice on his dog.”

“I think that it’s readily apparent as soon as you meet him that he’s one of a kind.  I mean, he’s sometimes a plain looking package but inside there’s a….”

“So as I stand here tonight, it’s obvious that, (bride’s name) is complete and (groom’s name), you’re finished.”

“My life has never been the same, (groom’s name) taught me a lot – leadership skills, how to make popcorn, how to tie my shoes, and he showed me where babies come from.  I really owe him a lot.”

Jokes about Being a Best Man

“When my friends heard that I’d be a best man, they were quite concerned.  A, they thought I might not be able to perform under so much pressure as it was my first time, especially with such a large crowd watching.  That I might struggle to get things out my mouth… that’s what she said.”

“How do you measure yourself, how do you measure a best man versus another best man?  Height.”

“This is a fantastic wedding, so thank you very much.  I plan on making my way through the entire menu of the signature drinks.”

“A wise man once told me that the best man’s speech should be as long as the groom makes love.  Thank you ladies and gentlemen.”


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